View Full Version : What Might Be The Stupidest, Most repeated Comment That You Have To Hear?

Jim Warfield
03-02-2011, 06:29 PM
"Do you ever get lost in this house?"
It is a large place, with some twists and turns, ex cetra but I built them and I live here and I am open now for the last 25 years!? If I get lost here, please don't send any search teams looking..."DUH??"
(Just patiently wait for me to begin stinking, then come looking)

"How many rooms are in this house?"
I say:"All of them, except for the rooms left outside?"
Like the big tourist cave when the workers get asked :"Is all of this cave underground?"
I would say," Yes, except for the part that sticks up out of the ground 110 feet in the air!"

Patti Ludwinski
03-03-2011, 12:18 PM
"If I make it all the way through, do I get my money back?"


"I only made it past the first room before I bailed, can I get my money back?" ...To which I reply, "So you paid us to scare you...We did our job so well that you got your fill just after the first room, but for some reason you want your money back.?.?.?"

LOL! I love people. They crack me up!

03-03-2011, 05:47 PM
In no particular order:

What are you supposed to be?
How much do you get paid?
You ain't scary.
Hey, come over here and scare him/her/them.
You're hot.
Can I have your phone number?


Soul Reaper
03-04-2011, 12:57 AM
He is not real.
Let me out.
I am so scared I am about to piss in my a pants.
I am f-ing scared.

03-04-2011, 05:16 AM
My Personal Favorite is: You cant TOUCH ME...... Followed by : YOU TOUCHED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Jim Warfield
03-04-2011, 06:24 AM
The skinny little 14 yr. girl stated rather loudly as she put her rear down on my couch surrounded by 15 of her closest friends.
I hadn't even closed the door behind them all yet (which just maybe made my proclaimation carry abit more weight?)
"Well, if that is your attitude... you can just leave Right Now!"

She changed her facial expression immeadiately and her body language, what there was of it, and proceeded to back-track and humble herself....maybe their ride had already left? HHHMM? hadn't considered that before?
Big empty dark parking lot, surrounded by woods, the city graveyard behind those woods on the next hill....
Maybe it was already half-way through October when this happened, maybe that was why I just wasn't in the mood to be threatened by some tiny little loud-mouthed terrorist, especially since we don't do such things here.
If I touch you, then we Have to get married, and you might not like that! (I Know I wouldn't!) hahahahah!
Them old rules weren't always the best ones.

03-05-2011, 11:35 AM
These aren't in any particular order at all.

You're not scary.
NICE HAIR! (referring to my red spiky clown hair)
How much do you get paid?
What do you do if you have to go to the bathroom? (Yes, someone actually said that.)
How do you endure this music all night?? (referring to the circus music)

And there are many more..

Johnny Thunder
03-10-2011, 10:37 AM
Ha - every one I remembered has already been posted!!

03-11-2011, 05:44 PM
Oh, you're a girl? [No duh, sherlock]

Killer Katie
03-29-2011, 08:21 PM
You need a mint! Which I promptly reply "that's how human smells when it's stuck in your teeth."LOL

Jim Warfield
03-29-2011, 08:37 PM
I think my house looks pretty impressive as one drives up, looks at it, looks around. A two-story Italianate with fancy decorations and a cupola on the roof and numerous odd decorations al over the house and yard you won't be seeing anywhere else and they say:"We would like to see the house...is there a "charge"?
Maybe I should say, "Well if this is just a dream of yours money is totally unnecesarry and unreal so there will be no charge,but since it's just a dream, hand me all of your money, credit cards and your car keys and cell phone, nothing will happen to them at all since this is just your dream and none of these items are actually real or have any value."
IF they did ever hand over these things I would be very tempted to just scream a loud squeal and run as fast as lightning up the street not looking back!
HEY! That might even wake them up!

Pumpkin King
04-06-2011, 08:55 AM
"Would you shut up?"

04-06-2011, 09:33 AM
My apologies for going off subject here; but it really is related to what actors hear. I reenact American Civil War with authenticly reproduced uniforms. Wool trousers and wool coat. In July at Gettysburg with a heat index over 100; people walk by in shorts constantly asking 'Is it hot wearing those uniforms?" To which or standard reply is "Nope, wool breathes" and after they walk away we add the famous '...here's your sign".

04-21-2011, 05:03 PM
" Scare my friend !!"

06-21-2011, 10:06 AM
At my house you don't really hear things over and over, it's actually a big variety. A lot of screams... and variety! XD

06-23-2011, 07:19 AM
"Where do we go?"
My spot in the haunt is located in the "kitchen." Every time I drove someone out of my room, they would always come back and ask where to go. Gee, there's the way you came, a wall, another wall, and a flimsy little curtain. Where do you think you go? Finally, I just started following them into that room to keep them from going backwards and holding up the flow.

Jim Warfield
06-23-2011, 04:54 PM
"Oh, Mister! Where do we go now?" As they stand in a dim hallway with no optional paths at all.
I should say, "Come this way where I am. I was hiding but since you are basically so dumb and this dumb-ness will maybe keep you from emerging from my house for the next 24 hours I really should ruin the scare and just help get you out the exit as fast and well as possible."

10-11-2011, 03:44 PM
My haunt opened last Saturday, and we got a decent number of customers, somewhere around 400. One of the first groups to go through were a bunch of middle school aged boys, all determined to show how brave they were by jumping out of their skin and then hurling stupid insults at the monsters. One of these boys did just that, yelling "Where's my mom, you freak?!" I promptly replied, "I already ate her. You'll have to settle for being desert."

EDIT: Also, there was the obligatory tough guy threatening to kill anyone who jumped out at him. Good job, big guy, you just gave is $13 so that you could take a nice, scenic walk!

10-12-2011, 11:04 AM
I work on the queue line as a clown or a psycho, so I hear all kinds of stupid stuff from teenagers. "Can I have a hug?" I reply no hugs leads to bites and that leads to crying. "Dude those are contacts! Where can I get some." I chased a guy 6 blocks to get these. "Scare my friend." In a loud voice i point at the person and say YOU want me, to scare them, them, i should go over scare because YOU said so. "Remember me?" I'm trying to forget. "How do I get a job here?" Don't know, I'm just hanging around until they kick me out. "Can I honk your horn?" You always ask strangers you just met if you can honk their horns.

10-12-2011, 01:53 PM
It's beyond me why people even come into these places just to show how they won't get scared. That's like going into a refrigerator to show that you won't get cold...

Not to mention a waste of money on their part... still, we get paid! :D

10-13-2011, 01:24 PM
These are the most common... These are all when I'm roaming the park/sliding. Inside the haunted house it's too damn loud to hear anything.

1. STOP BLOWING THAT DUCK CALL IN MY EAR (I have a duck hunting call I like to blow in peoples ears every so often)
2. Bro you're like not even scary bro, stop trying to scare me bro (Which is most of the Jersey Shore lookin kids, but what they don't know is I'm not trying to be scary, I'm a distraction for my scaring "buddy" to come up behind.)
3. Don't scare me, please don't scare me. OH F**K HE SCARED THE S**T OUTTA ME!
4. OMG how do you make your slider gear?
5. What knee pads do I use?
6. How old do you have to be to work here?
7. I'll give you 50 cents to scare my friend (yes someone actually offered me money) to which I replied "I get paid $110 an hour to scare here... I don't need 50 cents"
8. HOLY S**T I didn't see him at all with the fog.
9. Doesn't sliding hurt your knees?
10. How do you make your sliding gear?
11. How do you make your sliding gear?
12. How do you make your sliding gear?

You get the idea.

And this one from my manager (it's a volunteer job) But basically I scare at this little haunted theme park that sucks. The haunted house is horrible and looks like it's designed and built by a 6 year old. I would have already quit if I didn't have the ability to roam the park. I was supposed to leave for Marine Corps bootcamp October 11th, so I didn't go to the Knotts tryouts. About 2 days after the tryouts were over my recruiter calls me "her your bootcamp got pushed back to Janurary." So since I didn't get a job at Knotts, I was stuck with this. But my manager has the nerve to tell me that I absolutely HAVE to paint my entire face black under my prosthetic...

The full face prosthetic is designed to look like it's part of my face, and designed to look like it's part of my actual skin, but she wants me to paint the face black? Even though no one will see my face with the prosthetic on? I could understand if the prosthetic wasn't meant to look like part of my face, but since it is, there is no need to. The lady clearly has no idea how to run a haunted house, as they still have "Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers" rooms, and a bunch of other lame ideas. But I stay so I can roam the park which the only fun part of the night.

Don't get me wrong, I'll scare at almost anything as I love doing it so much, but please don't try and tell me how to do something I know 100x more about than you do. They do a thing called a "wuss" count, where they count how many people leave the house early, I got 65 of the 73 wusses that night on my own, with my prosthetic and no black makeup underneath... And she's trying to tell me how to be more scary... lol And in the haunted house they don't allow free roam of your room, you have to stand in ONE spot and just yell at people, no getting in there face, no getting into character, no moving around the scene and making use of it. Obviously I don't follow this rule either since the room is huge and it's being wasted by not allowing the monsters to use it all.

Done venting,

10-13-2011, 06:10 PM
This one was from one of my fellow actors. I recently bought the "Deviant" mask from Zagone Studios, which didn't exactly cost a fortune but was still more than I've ever spent on a costume before (seeing as how I always used the ones provided by the managers). I was showing it off, showing people how the mouth moved, when a big guy comes walking up to me wearing one of the haunt-provided masks. He says, "Dude, your mask is awesome! Can I have it?" I tell him no, I paid for it, and he offers me $10 for it. The local high school drove a bus down to our haunt filled with drama students, all begging for scaring positions so that they could get extra credit. This guy was one of them. They had no clue as to how to work an improv-heavy act like this, and they didn't know how much a good costume can actually cost (made evident by all the masks and other costume pieces left lying around after closing... my boss nearly blew a gasket).

10-15-2011, 01:42 PM
I work at a venue that doubles as a community sports facility. Every friday night they also host a middle school dance. Those nights are miserable since I roam the general grounds.

"Where do you go to school"
"Do you have facebook"

Not to mention all the new annoying questions I get because I'm on stilts this year.

Bob Shaw
11-01-2011, 08:36 AM

I was asked non stop through the whole month if I was real, i was a poked, grabbed, and everything you could think of, even hugged by a lady. No one wanted to believe my wall walking vampire was real.

Jim Warfield
11-02-2011, 02:34 PM
It was a hollow "Clunk!" sound from the video of a drunk here ramming his head into a plywood wall , with all the lights "On"!
My employee says, "Well, I've Never seen that before!"(I hadn't either. No chase, no scare reaction, no previous proclamation of threat or intent.)
I guess everybody is "good" at something?
His friends with him were very puzzled and amazed too.

11-04-2011, 08:19 PM
I love the "Did you paint your eyes?" when they see me in my contacts. Yeah, I really painted my eyes. Cuz that makes soooo much sense......

11-13-2011, 10:12 PM
I work in a "freezer" with bloody bodies hanging from the ceiling and a strobe light.
what i mainly hear is:
You can't touch me!
Something touched me (hey dumbutt? you are in a room full of hanging bodies so yes they touched you)
Can i have your number?
Youre too cute to be scary
oh shit oh shit oh shit

Jim Warfield
11-13-2011, 10:45 PM
which way are we supposed to go?" As they are in a walkway with no dead ends, or alternate routes possible.
I like to think they are just scared and playing "dumb", or they are so dumb they think I am going to give away my hiding place and begin answering those non-question questions?
"Hey kid! I'm hiding right over here. I thought you or someone with you might have paid to be in here because you wanted someone to scare you, but I guess not."

Jim Warfield
11-20-2011, 07:06 AM
If you have ever even seen a picture of my house, The Ravens Grin Inn, it is not photo-shopped, so imagine a customer coming here for the first time, looking at the outside and asking:"Do you leave these decorations up all year?"
Well here's the quick inventory of my "decorations"
A "Spaceship crashed into the roof of the cupola"
A Spooked Victorian paint job on the house, flat black on the lower portion turning to grey as you look up.
Several 1950 Hudson cars impaled into the side of the house .
A 14? foot high, steel, all welded skull at the corner of the house.
And of course numerous other smaller things all bolted, screwed to the house and numerous signs large and small all talking about this house one way or another.
Sometimes I will tell first-timers that since it's dark it looks like this but they are just being influenced by the full moon and the rural hog lot and city sewer plant fumes because this is really just a 1950's Turquoise and white house trailer by the normal light of the day.
Yes, it's a "House" zoned Commercial, been Commercial since 1870, hidden down a backstreet all by itself, surrounded by three parking lots and then beyound that trees, woods, cliff, river, just like being out in the country!

01-10-2012, 02:19 PM
1. "you can't touch me"
2 "give me a hug"
3. "if you touch me I will sue"
4. "it's pennywise the clown!" (Im a clown but not pennywise)

Jim Warfield
01-10-2012, 05:29 PM
Should travel as couples. "Pennywise" with "Poundfoolish"." Pound" could have on large boxing gloves. Penny says, "A Penny for your thoughts", then tries to hand them a dollar , gets mad when there is no change.

Damien Warwick
01-11-2012, 01:00 PM
my personal favorite....I was doin my redneck character reading the rules, and I brought up Freebird. This guy, probably in his mid 40s, asks "Whats Freebird?" ....Thank god I was a dumb redneck, because there was no NICE response to that lol