View Full Version : Who Is "Older Than Dirt"?

Jim Warfield
05-17-2007, 12:22 AM
...answer...I AM! 58 years old today! No lie. I know, I only look and feel like I am 108!
I am sure some people have underestimated me in my life but I am a double-Bull, born Taurus during the Chinese year of the Ox!
Now you know " why"! hahahahah!
When I was a kid it stormed almost every May 17th, thunder, lots of rain, soaking any partys at the local park, I just got used to it happening.

05-17-2007, 03:28 AM
Happiest of Birthday Greetings Jim, I dont know what the forums would be if you hadnt been created soooooo many years ago!

05-17-2007, 05:13 AM
Happy B-day Jim. Wow! 58. Hope I die before I get that old! LOL! Just kidding. Hope you have a great day!


05-17-2007, 05:34 AM
Happy Birthday Jim!!! -Tyler

Jim Warfield
05-17-2007, 07:39 AM
"Death" can be arranged.
So simple.
Just a slip in one's bathtub.
That is why I never get into a bathtub! EVER!
Well, at least not by myself!

"How OLD are you Mister?"
"Just cut off my head and count the rings."
I usually got this question because people would think I must be older than I was acting during the house tour.
People in general do find entertainment when some old-guy does and says alot of silly unexpected stuff.
I am old enough to really get their attention if I fall down on the floor and pretend to have just died infront of them. Maybe someday I will get it right?
Won't they be surprised! (And then want a refund!)

05-17-2007, 07:56 AM
Happy B-day crazy man !

05-17-2007, 08:47 AM
Happy Birthday Jim! May you stay forever young at heart!

05-17-2007, 09:36 AM
Happy B-day! Perhaps your illegal cloning project will shed some results before you turn 59, and you can start over with a fresh body next year.

05-17-2007, 10:29 AM
Jim, did you just steal my birthday? 44 today. Check my driver's license it says so, may 17th.

Happy birthday, man.

And born on the same day, same year as moi, jimmy osmond...

Jim Warfield
05-17-2007, 02:00 PM
I had a Mother-in-law that shared birth day with Hitler!
(Oh, wait, she WAS Hitler!)
He/she had the nazi scientists to thank for the ultimate disguise, "Youth" and a sacks-change!
Couldn't hide the personality, though.

05-17-2007, 04:46 PM
Thread insta-Godwinned!

05-17-2007, 09:06 PM
This one's for you, Jim....

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Jimmy,
Happy birthday to....

Hmm, if I said that last word in the song I would have to pay royalties!

"YOU" have a great day!!! :)


05-17-2007, 10:08 PM
Missed it, but Happy Belated B-Day guys

Gore Galore
05-17-2007, 10:20 PM
Happy Birthday Doc.
Don't smell the roses. They are carnivorous, and voracious.
Always Haunt your way to happiness.

Frighteners Entertainment
05-18-2007, 10:19 AM
Well, hope it was a happy day for you....
I was going to say "You don't look a day over 62" Glad I didn't! LOL J/K

Best wishes Jim :lol:

Jim Warfield
05-18-2007, 11:39 AM
It didn't rain, no thunder!? It usually does.
We went to a park next to Belleveiw , Iowa stood on the 300 foot high cliff overlooking the Miss. River and saw Turkey buzzards in a tree right above us just sitting there with wings out full-spread, motionless. Very strange sight, almost like a hallucination or a vision as the sun made their brown feathers look golden. (These birds have at least a 6ft. wingspan)
Back home reading up on Turkey Buzzards they sound like an interesting haunted house bird. They are non-aggressive but defend themselves by throwing up on things and people!
They eat roadkill and always keep some half-way down their gullot incase they need some for defensive purposes on short notice.
Of course an animal would simply be distracted by the fresh meal placed before them and not go after the Buzzard as he retreats.

Frighteners Entertainment
05-18-2007, 11:44 AM
Sounds like you had a good time.

So, how was dinner? :lol:

Jim Warfield
05-19-2007, 06:18 AM
My wife fixed me a steak, ex cetra, very good! At my age I had to subcontract the initial chewing out to my dog, then cattle-prod him to make him give it up, just like Ben Franklin did!

05-19-2007, 03:51 PM
Happy Birthday to you Jim, and to you Nightmare Tony! I share the same week with you both! Mine was on Monday! :)

05-21-2007, 10:56 AM
jim thats also my wifes bday,can u remind me next yr like a day early?

Jim Warfield
05-22-2007, 08:52 AM
The only reason that I remember my own birthday each year is because many times I seem to have a run of some pretty bad luck around then but not as bad a run as my parents had when I was born!!!