View Full Version : I need a woman!

07-25-2008, 12:55 PM
I have tried the Bama ladies and I love them. But I want a crazy haunt chick thats a lady by day and a wild chilc by night. I don't want an old one maybe 30-35 give or take a few years. Ladies drop me a line. Hell we will go over to Larry's for dinner! I don't want marrage JUST SOME CRAZY FUN! Does this sound like a personals ad? Hummmmmmmmmm Shane. and its Puttin On The Ritz Shane this time!

07-25-2008, 01:23 PM
I've heard Granny's available...


I'd say she's right up your alley.

07-25-2008, 01:27 PM
I am not into wild women. My wife isn't wild, my kids are though.

07-25-2008, 01:27 PM
Be sure to leave out the part about the cemetary sex. :p

07-25-2008, 02:09 PM
Shane, Shane, Shane, What has gotten into you? It sounds like its Horny Shane this time, but it had better be Putting on the Protection Shane this time! :D

Jim Warfield
07-25-2008, 04:57 PM
Don't blame Shane, in all my haunted years of experience a great percentage of the female population will never want anything to do with a haunted house situation, it is sort of basically unnatural to the common female outlook on life.
Although a much higher percentage of females come through my haunted house than males ever had.
Last night 10 people were here, all female! This afternoon 4, all female.
Guys aren't supposed to show fear in our society so they are nervous they might fail that test infront of their friends or girlfriend, so they stay away often times.
good Luck, Shane. Be sure and ask "Her" about her history as far as times spent medicated or locked away. No surprises are good .

07-25-2008, 05:02 PM
I knew this thread would have some funny stuff in it!!!!!!! Oh yes and for the chick that sent me the nude pics!! Ummmmm I am sorry but something tells me that there may be a little thing that comes with you! I think the word that I am looking for is STD. Shane and its I am going to go throw up Shane this time!

Jim Warfield
07-25-2008, 05:49 PM
I have heard their ad many times. STD florist?
Does she have suspicious fauna?
Spray for them bugs!
Oh, no, it's plastic fauna! Must be plastic bugs too, or else real stupid bugs!

When you said she comes with something extra I was thinking you could see some extra equiptment, not on the invoice!
Think of it as a Bone-us!

07-25-2008, 07:44 PM
its I am going to go throw up Shane this time!

So how do you throw up yourself? I guess you would have to eat yourself in order to do that. But if you could do that, then you wouldn't really need a woman, would you? Totally kidding!

Am I starting to fit in with everyone else yet? I'm trying!!! :D

Greg Chrise
07-25-2008, 07:48 PM
Karma is a real bitch. I left my 50 year old girl loose but, the two 25 year olds I should have got back never showed up to replace her. Ones with jobs and cars, cell phones and good credit, maybe dental plans?

It takes decades of stalking to find the right one.

07-26-2008, 06:29 AM
I found the perfect chick! Last night I cooked dinner for her. Then we watched a horror movie. She got scared and by the end of the movie was actually sitting in my lap. Then all seemed right with the world. I deemed the lights and man on man was it on. We went to my bedroom for some real action and everything was going great. I was right in the middle of some foreplay when I kinda bit her on the ear and all of the sudden air started leaking and she flew out the window!!!!! And just my luck she was the last one in the store!!! Now I am back here looking for the perfect chick!!! Come on ladies I know your out there. Shane and its out of duct tape Shane this time.

Greg Chrise
07-26-2008, 09:26 AM

It sounds like you have had an exciting evening...about as exciting as it gets in the haunted community. Good luck with your search.

In all of my travels haunt related I have found the only women excited to talk to you are married. Or they are too young. The single hanger outers are too stupid to say hello and have developed some kind of dramatic anti social sneer that in any other circles would justify spearing their head to a wall so they don't offend anyone else ever again. Other solutions seem to be hanging them on a fence so others so rude are warned away or going through with the whole cut off the head and burn it scenario so others are not similarly infected.

You might be able to talk them out of their shell throught the false security of the computer key board. At all the dinners and convensions the only time single women will converse is to get you out of their way because they are moments away from throwing up from too much drinking.

To start off with you should put out some positive points of why they should want to meet you. All I can come up with is that I have a puppy, live in a secured compound and once global warming melts all the polar ice, where I live in North Texas will be beach front property.

07-26-2008, 09:29 AM
Here is your solution...

Greg Chrise
07-26-2008, 03:36 PM

Just go find her and try to "mend" things up..... with a vinyl repair kit. Otherwise you are into serious gas money traveling to see an internet meet up or worse yet have a relationship where you have to go earn some money, keep the refrigerator stocked to 4 star quality, buy them a car, then buy them car parts and then spend days installing the stuff and if you don't, you aren't really a friend and are SO expendable.

Meanwhile your own cars are up on blocks or need some work and no one is coming by to just play mechanic for the fun of it. No it's all about them. Just get a puppy, a broadband internet connection and a vinyl repair kit. The three should not be used at the same time but, they have great purposes seperately.

ei. Don't glue up your puppy or pet it while on the internet.

07-26-2008, 05:05 PM
OMG I just noticed that LMAO!!! Typo, typo.typo!!!!! Shane and its out of white out Shane this time!

07-26-2008, 05:13 PM
That's quite a typo, Shane! :D They're talking about you in Gun-toting Texans, too! You're starting to get a rep or to need one, I'm not sure which. ;)

Kevin Dells
07-28-2008, 05:44 AM
Shane im in the same boat man! I want a crazy haunt chick as well prefreably smokin hot goth chick!

OR at least a woman that understands that haunting is a time consuming thing, not a woman that gives up on me because i spend to much time doing haunt stuff.

Ummm. Honey this is a bussiness and bussiness takes time out of your life and no it's not all about just your needs!

Sorry about the ramblings my wife and i just split after 16 years, she claimed i loved the haunt more than her!

damon carson
07-28-2008, 09:40 AM
I think hauntworld is the wrong place to come if you think your gonna meet a woman!

07-28-2008, 09:57 AM
So last season me and my girl just broke up. There was this group of girls who came through and one of them close to my age caught my attention so I did what I NEVER do and after they came through, I broke character and went to talk to her. We talked for a little bit and that was that. Come January I got a message on myspace from her asking if I wanted to go to her 21st birthday party. I agreed and went out with her. (She had a boyfriend but he wasnt 21 yet) Then in Feb was my birthday (25th) and I invited her and she came but she was now single. Well we started dating. She came to vegas with me for transworld but then flew home when i flew on to orlando with my crew for our yearly thank you vacation. When I got home she had moved all her stuff into my house! Weird at first but im glad she did... we get along great and she loves helping out in the haunt.

What more could I ask for! A great looking girl, great personality, lots of fun, and loves scary movies, haunted houses and she even plays with my snake... (Thats my Pet Ball Python for those who are thinking dirty right now lol) :p

07-28-2008, 12:07 PM
So Sean, since this worked out, your haunt situation can work out too, and it will. Somebody is obviously looking out for you. :D

07-28-2008, 12:18 PM
Its truly amazing how much support the haunt community gives to each other when we are down.... I've gone from being depressed over the whole house situation to being happy again in a matter of days because of all your kind words.

Thanks again to everyone!

Jim Warfield
07-28-2008, 06:18 PM
A Haunter looking for a woamn? Any guy looking for a woman?
SO MANY times in all of the 20 years of running this house at the tour's conclusion many young woman would bemoan the fact that they just couldn't find a good guy to be with.
The main problem was that of dedication and focusing upon the woman and your relationship.
They would sometimes spout off their list of all the things that previous boyfriends gave priority to instead of them.

Their Truck (or car)
Their electronic toys, computer, whole house sound system, whatever?
Watching sports
Watching NASCAR
Their hound dog.
Some other hobby, boating, hunting, skiing, camping, porno.
Then after six to eight items they found their place on his list.
Not quite good enough Guys!

Being an active haunter is very rewarding in the feelings of accomplishment and fun and just pure expression, and all or any of these things can be addictive and very time consuming (don't we all know!)
They think someone like Adolf Hitler was extremely turned on by the 200,000 people all cheering the things he said and chanting his words in a stadium but then, wouldn't most people be?
If we are lucky most of us may get a very small touch of recognition and feelings that go Zinging through our synapses as we interact with numerous strangers, and it is nice and it is addictive because of the acceptance and power-trip aspect of it, even though we really know it's all just a temporary, transitory good thing.

Kevin Dells
07-28-2008, 08:53 PM
I call dibs on Seans girlfreinds sister!!!! :: Waving hands above head!::

Congrads man and you never know where your going to meet that perfect girl! Maybe even here.

07-29-2008, 06:02 AM
Worse than Larry! Here I come here looking for a hot haunt chick! What do I get out of this thread? Sean having a hot woman having hot pumkin sex any time he wants it! WTF is wrong here? Now all in the sudden Sean has went from being depressed and down to on top of the world! And I have become depressed! Sean THANKS ALOT for giving me what you got! Larry STFU dont even speak to me!!!! Shane and its unstable Shane this time!

07-29-2008, 07:05 AM
Kevin good new her sister is single... Although she is only 12 so you have 6 years to wait... ;)

07-29-2008, 07:06 AM
oh come on shane.... My mama always tought me to share! hahaha :-D

Greg Chrise
07-29-2008, 10:30 PM
Give us an address where we can send all of our extra buy one get one free sandwich offer coupons. Just to help out. Your gonna have to feed her for 6 years!?!

I'd be buying healthy meals and watching those calories too. Don't want her getting too ugly.

Kevin Dells
07-30-2008, 05:45 AM
Kevin good new her sister is single... Although she is only 12 so you have 6 years to wait... ;)

LMAO,Go Figure! Thanks anyhow! We have a few girls at our haunt that i might just ask out when im ready again!

I meen hey everybody knows when you go out looking for a girlfreind you never find her,stop looking and she'll be standing right next to you! At least thats how it happens for me!

Mike Honcho
07-30-2008, 02:58 PM
Hey, here's one for you Shane
There just two wild and crazy, um .... yeah.


07-30-2008, 04:31 PM
Is it just me or does this ummmmmmmm person in bad need of one hell of a support bra! Shane and its NO THANK YOU SHANE THIS TIME!

Jim Warfield
07-31-2008, 12:57 AM
They had an auditorium wired up with sensors on every seat.
They paraded naked people of all ages and all body types on the stage before the people in the all those seats.
No matter what someone's physical body or face looked like...somebody was always turned on!
(I would check every seat for a horny little mouse messing with the wires )
There definately IS someone for everybody, so forget the 12 yr. olds.
At least for now.

Greg Chrise
07-31-2008, 08:50 AM
Now "they" can keep an eye on that somebody that was always turned on...

Jim Warfield
07-31-2008, 12:10 PM
There would be real retina danger since that turned on person is constantly moving, twitching up and down every second of thr week!
Aunts in the pants? I'd say it must be the whole family, Uncles, cousins, the creep next door and the maid.

07-31-2008, 12:12 PM
OR at least a woman that understands that haunting is a time consuming thing, not a woman that gives up on me because i spend to much time doing haunt stuff.

As silly as I think this thread is - when exactly did Hauntworld become a Haunters Lookin' For Love website? - let me just point out that the above quote is a haunter issue, and not a gender issue.

Jim Warfield
07-31-2008, 12:20 PM
I had a group go through my house who started "The Farmers Without Partners" group.
It saves time explaining farming to a non-farmer and experimenting with living and working a farm.
Maybe haunting could benefit from this type of thinking?

08-07-2008, 12:40 PM
Well Shane did ya find that lucky girl yet?!?!?

08-07-2008, 06:33 PM
I heard through the grapevine that he did and her name is ChristinaGM. LOL!

Haunting Copy
08-07-2008, 08:23 PM
As silly as I think this thread is - when exactly did Hauntworld become a Haunters Lookin' For Love website? - let me just point out that the above quote is a haunter issue, and not a gender issue.

YAY for Dusti!

Haunting Copy
08-07-2008, 08:24 PM
I heard through the grapevine that he did and her name is ChristinaGM. LOL!

Y'all are evil. Just evil. ;)

08-08-2008, 06:20 AM
Shane knows we love him or we wouldn't give him such a hard time. :cool: