View Full Version : Mounting things to walls

Greg Chrise
08-09-2008, 08:26 AM
What are some ways of hanging things firmly to walls, sometimes I run screws from the opposite side of the wall into an item so the screws are not seen. Other times running screws through an item has them sticking out the other side of a single sided panel. They have to be cut off when not on framing lumber or an item used to cover that.

What is everyone doing?

Jim Warfield
08-09-2008, 09:17 AM
If the actual thickness of the plywood or OSB is only 1/4 inch I would use a small bolt with a fender washer (= small washer hole, large diameter washer) , even a homemade fender washer if needed to distribute the weight out and keep the panel from tearing out. We always have to anticipate the unforseeable as best we can. Like a customer grabbing and pulling, yanking things, just because they can.
Cut the bolt as short as possible then put a gob of silicone over it for customer protection. Dremel moto tool cuts bolts like this very close.
I got so tired of seeing drunks outside my house putting their fingers under the lip of the fiberglass replica WW2 German helmet the skeleton motorcycle guy was wearing and then yanking upward that I took reinforced packing tape and made a tack-laden carpet strip that I stuck under that helmet lip.
I realised at the time that I did it that if someone might not even feel the abuse to their hands if they were extremely drunk so I was then betting on the infection from the rusty tacks to discpline them a few days later.
None of them were ever successfull in removing that helmet. I had bolts running through the helmet through the styrofoam and Bondo covered skull I made right into the car door. (This whole thing was mounted to a 1979 Thunderbird passenger door, mashed in deeply by a speeding Volvo.

08-09-2008, 06:18 PM
Jim has a good idea there. I always had problems with people touching and pulling on things.

Jim, hearing about that booby trap you used reminded me of stories I heard about the early pinball machines. Before the TILT feature was added, many players found that slapping the underside of the machine would keep the ball in play if they were about to lose their turn. Owners of the machines noticed this and, realizing they were losing money from these guys standing there and playing endlessly, would open the machines up at night and drive some nails down through the wood bottom. I imagine it was quite a surprise for many players that next day, and the reason TILT was developed.

Jim Warfield
08-09-2008, 06:34 PM
Like the bar owner who had a customer putting his fist through the plasterboard wall above the urnial about once a month. They put some headers in the wall with big spikes pointing outward behind the plasterboard. The idiot punched and got pronged! It went to court, the Judge said the puncher was wrong !
No Chitt!

08-10-2008, 10:24 AM
When I lived in an apartment, I heard a loud crash inside one day so I went to check on it and found my upstairs neighbor standing in my dining room with a rope tied around his waist going out the window, which he had just come crashing through, to his apartment above. When I asked what in the world he was doing, he said that he had been practicing his mountain climbing down the side of the apt building (right thru my dining room window and into my apt).

Anyway, because they couldn't fix the window that day and I lived in a bad neighborhood, I set up a big broiler pan with all of these knives protruding upward out of it so that if anyone came through the window that night, they would land on a broiler pan full of knives and be impaled. It just seemed similar to what you are describing to keep people away.

Now about mounting things. Do you want to hear how I mount my pets to walls? Totally kidding! :cool:

Greg Chrise
08-10-2008, 11:24 AM
Velcro Kitty Olympics? The hardest part is putting tagets and numbers to score on the wall. Then finding just the right little trampolines.

(I'm totally kidding)

08-10-2008, 11:38 AM
Do you know where I can find those trampolines? I'll need different sizes for the cats, dogs, rats, and scorpions, of course. :cool:

Jim Warfield
08-10-2008, 11:52 AM
Did you buy your upstairs neighbor's claim that he was practising mountain climbing?
He sounds more like an inept cat burglar to me with a lame excuse.
OR just a total idiot?

08-10-2008, 12:08 PM
Well, with the rope tied around his waist leading out through the broken window and back into his open window upstairs (and this was in the middle of broad daylight), I really thought he must have been stupid enough to have been practicing his mountain climbing. Why else would he have been wearing that rope?

Greg Chrise
08-10-2008, 12:41 PM
Maybe we just invented a new burglar defense system. Trampolines with knives mounted on them at every window. Then there are numbers out in the yard, little flags to be goals. Spikes on top of the little flag poles too.