View Full Version : Just Being Here Helps

Jim Warfield
01-02-2009, 06:06 AM
This winter has been hard on business and people coming here and I tell them not to even try to come here if the weather forecast is too scary.
I had a call and an e-mail yesterday telling me that I was to have some people last night.
No sooner were they sitting in my front room than the guy began complimenting me lavishly on my "creation" here and my artwork.
I pointed out that he was barely in the front door. (A whole lot of house lays ahead)
His enthusiasm was not noticably diminished by the conclusion of their time in the house.(90min.later)
He said that he is a "Roadside attraction aficionado".
"Too bad I'm not near the road!" (Being behind storefronts in an alley doesn't quite qualify as "roadside")
He is a photographer and writer who has had things published in some very well known magazines and has traveled all over the world seeing oddities and writing about them.
He admitted to covering an outdoor event sponsered by the "Monkey-Butt Powder Co."
and his article focused upon feces and personal waste product ordeals, all in the name of humor since the actual event was very boring..and the Monkey-Butt people got mad!
(How can people with a company and product called "Monkey-Butt" get mad about anything???)

When Joiliet Paranormal were here last October they had agood laugh seeing my Monkey-Butt Powder display in my public restroom because this health aid is a Boobyprize they give away on their on-line radio show to people who are too pompous and full of themselves in the ghost hunting field.

If I had been away in my mountain top retreat in Switzerland polishing my Ferrari in my heated 17 car garage next to my indoor olympic pool I wouldn't have had the fun here last night, now would I?
The Swiss government has asked me not to come back because my amateur, inferior yodeling is very grating on the structural nerves of some huge snowpile hanging above a small town nearby.

damon carson
01-06-2009, 12:09 PM
It all sounds like a bad script for Rob Zombies new sequel to House of 1000 Corpses. When apes go bad.