View Full Version : Warfield

01-05-2006, 03:57 PM
Hey, just had to say .....Jim, I know you are getting alot of posts on here from other people picking on you about how many posts you have made on this forum like Larry does about how many Hauntworld videos he makes but nobody would notice just how many you do make if they didnt read them..which means they are entertained by them. Keep it up! Cause I know I do!

01-05-2006, 04:42 PM
I like Jim's posts a lot. He has a lot of knowledge and advice to offer. Keep it up!

damon carson
01-05-2006, 05:04 PM
I have to say Jims stories are very entertaining and informative. I could say I could listen to his stories all night. As a matter a fact my friend Kevin and I did till 4am after he and his girlfriend now wife graciously let us help scare and even spend the night at his house. Keep in mind we drove 6hrs to just visit his haunt. Lookout Jim you better get more couches and beds in the Inn to accomidate all the haunters who will want the full night stay and breakfast at the RAVENS GRINN! Or maybe someday you could turn the Grinn into an retirement home for haunters. That would go great with the slogan you say at the end of your tour. "Maybe you can tell someone about it when your in a retirement home someday!" LOL! Jim your the best! Keep up the good work I admire your dedication to haunting not only on this board but operating 301 days out of the year. Oh and by the way Jim I do see dead people. LOL! I told you what I saw and experienced that night.
Take Care,

01-05-2006, 06:11 PM
You mean they don't make sense to you? :twisted:

01-05-2006, 06:57 PM
LOL a retirement home for haunters, now that would be scary. I sure would wanna live there, sign me up.....

Keep up the great posting Jim!!


01-05-2006, 07:02 PM
Some of them make sense but there are some that have no meaning at all like the one about hearing santa. But hey, who cares, right? They are mostly all funny or just entertaining.

Sher-rE Cox

01-05-2006, 07:47 PM
Jim? What would this planet be without him?

I surely wouldn't want to live here without him!

I go to the Jim daily..... it's good for me! :D

01-05-2006, 10:08 PM
Hmm, I always thought that all those posts were written by Mr. Tuxedo and Jim was his pet human! :lol:

Actually, I look forward to reading his posts! He's always very informative, entertaining and amusing, to say the least! :D

OK, now....who voted "NO" in the above poll?!!! Fess up now!!! Gotta be that evil Mr. Tuxedo!!! :evil:

Jim Warfield
01-05-2006, 11:03 PM
Here we are at the edge of my 4,000th post on this site and I had to step back and wonder? How many posts would I have made if I had passed typing in high school and ever successfully typed MORE than just 7 words /per/minute?
No, seriously, I think it was time for me to think about just what this poll asked. Ego is a dangerous thing and there isn't always alot of checks and balances to things associated with posting on-line, no immeadiate feed-back pro - or con, good or bad.
I do get really into my own mind, my own thoughts considering different ideas as I am writing them here , I do read and re-read them usually before posting , trying to make sure they stated things the way I intended them, offending no one, I hope.
Some of you have wondered how I can be on-line, posting so much?
I check the computer for e-mails as far as potential customers asking questions or telling me their plans to arrive here. Someone who goes by the name "Viagra" keeps e-mailing me several times a day!
I work on things here pretty steadilly, take a break(because I'm old and tired), check in here, go back to painting, building, whatever? This is how it goes most days and nights for me. At night I sometimes am waiting for tours to show up, so instead of having things tore up and tools for them to step over and around I pick up my dailey mess and sit here instead.
I had a tour for six people tonight, I felt really excellant doing the tour, in good voice, lots of energy, they seemed to have a good time, when they are going out the door I thank them for being here and genuinely mean it.
Thank You to everyone here , and I genuinely mean it.
Mr. tuxedo doesn't thank you , unless he's having a dream about thanking you right now, wait, maybe...this has all just been a cat dream!!?
None of us really exist except within his feline brain cells!
Get ready everyone, he seems excited, it's that re-occurring cat-nipping dream again!

01-05-2006, 11:36 PM
The customers named Viagra really have to get up there!

I want to know who voted no! on the poll! That person must be caught and killed and stuffed and must wear a Mr. Tuxedo moustache for life!

01-06-2006, 07:41 AM
Yeah! Who Doesn't Love Jim?

There, There, Jim. The vast majority of us still love you.

Raycliff Manor
01-06-2006, 03:36 PM
Hey Jim! It's your posts that make me feel like I'm not alone! Not only do I understand your posts... I relate to them too! Maybe we're related. I have always had time lapses too Jim! I've even ended up in places and can't remember how I've gotten there... even when I haven't been drinking! :lol: Kindred spirits???


Jim Warfield
01-06-2006, 03:45 PM
Yes Kelly, the first "Where am I"? Was long ago , "How did I end up on this planet?"
Everything is minor and relative after that first big inquiry.

01-06-2006, 06:47 PM
Sher-rE wrote:

Some of them make sense but there are some that have no meaning at all like the one about hearing santa. But hey, who cares, right? They are mostly all funny or just entertaining.

Seriously...you didn't hear santa? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Jim...ego or not...just keep up the great work. I find this lunacy thing an awesome streeeeesss reliever....


Jim Warfield
01-06-2006, 07:57 PM
I have never quite been able to fully agree with the saying:"If it feels good, do it."
Yes, it feels good for me typing the things I post but that doesn't mean it is always contageously acceptable by any means.
I have always really liked the sensation of my brain doing something. It really likes staying mostly inside my skull especially when I'm walking around outside on a cold winter's day.
So does anybody's brain seem to usually be asking or saying one particulair thing ?
Mine seems to like to keep asking , "What if?"
("I build the creature to pop out of the wall."
"But what if his head were to then also rotate sideways to look at the customers?"
"Can you make it do that?"
"I can if I put an extra hinge in the neck assembly, at a slight angle."
"What if, instead of the creature looking like "Jason" it looks like "Jasmine" instead?"
"What if I built it to reset using gravity?"
"What if you forgot to pay your gravity bill that month?"
"I make those payments with every extra bite of food I eat, no worry there!")

Jack Reaper
01-07-2006, 11:29 PM
Some other forums....I have noticed people who are in the 7,000 range!

Now if you took Jim's # here and the # of posts on Hallowen Forum....he is close to 7,000!

01-08-2006, 12:14 AM
warfield for president ,

this is not the first time i have posted this,

way to go jim , you are living the dream ,

tell mr. tuxedo to knock one back for me .

Jim Warfield
01-08-2006, 12:40 AM
"President Warfiedl"
There was a Great Lakes Steamer with "President Warfield" as it's name.
Whoever President Warfield was, president of who knows what???
The U.S. was so desperate for ocean going vessels that they made this lake tourist taxi into an ocean ship!
After the war it was scrapped and that was the last of a Warfield being "President"!

01-08-2006, 01:35 AM
just as long as you don't get into amoeba porn, I'll be happy.

(ask Midnight Evil about that one)

01-08-2006, 08:36 AM
Jim is my friend.

Now, I know that may not mean much to many since many use the word "friend" so loosely. I, however, rarely use it.

He means a lot to me.

Jim Warfield
01-08-2006, 09:29 AM
Thank You, Empress for stating it so aptly and plainly. Life can be pretty simple. Like that old saying:"If you want a friend, Be a friend."
I like to think that this still usually works .
I also got in the habit of forgiving people , it was purely selfish on my part, I'm lazy, I don't want to lug all that "Lug"-gage around with me!
I tell myself that 99% of us are doing the best that we can (with what we have to work with) and you really can't expect more or be too critical of others when you think of everyone in those terms.
The sun is shinning in Illinois right now, it looks lika spring day out there, time to go put my body outside and suck up some "solar"!

01-08-2006, 09:05 PM
Ohhhhhh, I miss him already, his little avatar just sitting there, it looks so lonely, and that poor cat, who will feed him, who will open the Inn? Who.... what, he's not dead? Well, from the posts it sounded like... OK, so he's not dead? Really?

Hey, just had to say .....Jim, I know you are getting alot of posts on here from other people picking on you about how many posts you have made on this forum like Larry does about how many Hauntworld videos he makes but nobody would notice just how many you do make if they didnt read them..which means they are entertained by them. Keep it up! Cause I know I do!

Yeah, the difference is that Jims posts are entertaining.

:^) oops, just kidding Larry, don't bounce me.



01-09-2006, 07:02 AM
That's why Jim has so many posts! He just puts down words that don't make any since. :D

Jim Warfield
01-09-2006, 08:35 AM
Now things just got alot harder for me since some of you want me to make sense and make since!!!??
Is "since" an ingrediant in Grandma's apple- spice pie?
Her pie was famous, or was that infamous?
Like the old woman down the street who substituted boogers for the raisens in her cookie recipe. Well, you see she had this big booger farm, two HUGE nostrils right there in the middle of her old face.....
There you go. Another haunted house idea from my childhood.
The guys in the post office were afraid to try those cookies when she brought them in to share with them.
I would substitue flys for raisens, myself. Gotta pull off the wings though, otherwise it's a dead give away.

Warren Vanderdark
01-10-2006, 05:30 AM
I've always been a fan of Jim's posts (and those of his feline co-hort, Mr. Tuxedo), both here and on another message board where he posts. I'm hoping some day to make the trek from Louisville to Raven's Grin to meet with the maestro himself (as soon as I can figure out some way to avoid these bothersome outstanding bench warrants...)


Warren Vanderdark;
Owner & Head Mortician,
The Baxter Avenue Morgue,


Jim Warfield
01-10-2006, 08:35 AM
"Benchs" by their nature usually aren't that high, maybe a little hurdle practise is in order?
Just remember to run towards the front of the bench so it can maybe tip backwards like a hurdle if your foot doesn't attain enough altitude.
"practice", practise,practise!" Can't make the team if you don't apply yourself!

Dan Faupel
01-10-2006, 09:03 AM
Break out the ego pump Jim!...hehehe...seriously, Jim constantly amazes me with his strange wit and humor...I always thought that Jim should compile all of his posts into a book set up in a format like “Jim on: life” then all posts pertaining that would follow...then maybe “Jim on: going to the hardware store” then all pertaining posts..and so on and so forth...sort of a twisted Jim advice coffee table book...I’d buy one!

This was one of the funniest posts I've seen by Jim in a while (in the santa thread)...

Your Hubby is one heck of a physical specimen of a man if he can run through a haunt scaring people carrying a drill press!
He has my ultimate fear and respect!
Of course chasing is one thing, to hold the drill press and wrestle someone's head under the bit really requires skill and co-ordination.
Don't let him talk you into getting too close to that machine, he might drill you!
Maybe one of those front-carrying baby harnesses could be modified to carry the drill press easier?
Imagine the relatively quiet whirr of a drill press becoming as scary as the deafening roar of a chainsaw!
It would be a holy experience!
"You can't scare me, that's just a little 1/8th inch diameter bit!"
"Well, I'm changing bits RIGHT NOW, how about this 3/4 incher!?"
"Help! Yiiii!"

I was searching the net the other day, and came across an old article I wrote a few years ago about Jim, that I didn't know was online...here's the link if you'd like to learn more about Jim...


He is surely destined to go down in the haunter's hall of fame...well, if one existed that is....hmmm, an idea for IAHA?

Jim Warfield
01-10-2006, 12:08 PM
"Haunter's Hall Of Infame"?
I probably won't make it Dan, my batting average is way too low, even though I swing an over-sized bat!
(That's why voice is so deep.)
No, it is not an aluminum bat! It's more natural than that.
If I could only learn to drop my bat when I hit the ball, I'm running around the bases and I look down an there it is!
Maybe I need a "pinch-runner" for me so I just fully concentrate on my bat?

01-10-2006, 11:57 PM
Yes, but Jessica is going to be urinated off if you concentrate on your bat too much in public!

Jim Warfield
01-11-2006, 12:58 AM
Like most bats mine sleeps during the day, comes out after midnight, swoops past the tavern door as they close, climbs up the 60 ft. tall civil war monument a block away in the county courtyard and waits.....
Everyone is good at something, in a small town you learn to wait.
For many years I was considered a "Master Waiter", look at all the years I waited to get this house bought, all the waiting to try to get into the big leagues of the haunt field.
When it would begin to get to be too frustrating I would remind myself to just get a grip on myself, just as every master waiter has always done.
When you get your haunt open Tony I want to shake your hand, if you have one free.

01-11-2006, 07:12 AM
.then maybe “Jim on: going to the hardware store”

Good ghod! Now that's a scary thought. Can any of you actually imagine a trip to the hardware store with Jim??? JEES! The mind boggles. It would be like a bad episode of Monster House meets JackAss!

01-11-2006, 08:49 AM
Amen, man. I am wondering if I should just call myself the storage yard of haunts at this rate. 2 haunts, all dressed up and nowhere to go.

It it getting there. One way or another...

Jim Warfield
01-11-2006, 11:15 AM
Tony, Throw a camo net over the whole thing, connecting it and call it something very creative and charge admission.
If too many complain , have a confessional booth at the end of the walk where they can hear your heartfelt confession, but NO REFUNDS!

01-12-2006, 10:24 AM
.then maybe “Jim on: going to the hardware store”

Good ghod! Now that's a scary thought. Can any of you actually imagine a trip to the hardware store with Jim??? JEES! The mind boggles. It would be like a bad episode of Monster House meets JackAss!

Jim Warfield presents MonsterAss. :shock:

Jim Warfield
01-12-2006, 12:26 PM
It takes alot of butt-btu's to warm up the stone walls of the wine cellar.
(Would fewer, bigger butts be better than smaller more numerous ones...? Oh well?
Those walls really don't need to be warmed for any reason, it's just something for people to do to kill time while they are hanging around down there tied to the walls.(No, this is not for the kiddie show!)

01-12-2006, 08:33 PM
Butt BTUs? Jim's Dutch Oven Cellar Scare?


Jim Warfield
01-12-2006, 08:58 PM
Yes, I do "See Things".
I walk into a hardware store, a pharmacy, a Dollar store, a Salvation Army Store, lumber yard and my mind sees unlimited possibilitys of combinations of items and products to make new, more and different things as I would bolt,weld, pop-rivet, screw or glue them together.

01-13-2006, 09:11 PM
"I see hardware things"

Jim Warfield
01-13-2006, 11:10 PM
The Farm & Fleet store has these big tractor hydralic cylinders, need to lift a car? Of course they operate at alot more pressure than a pnuematic cylinder and have oil in the lines.
One time a hose broke and the farmer quickly grabbed the line , thinking he was going to hold in the oil, his hand quickly doubled in size!
He almost had to have his hand amputated.
I wonder if he ever got Arthur write us in that hand?
It was perminetly "Lubed!"
The number 3,200 seems stuck in my head as possibly the pounds of hydralic pressure used in a farm tractor application?
I could be wrong.
35 years ago a JC chapter in this county removed the hydralics from a tractor, left the hoses hooked up, pulled them in through a window, and used them to move the "Crushing Wall" haunted house gag. Of course they had the pressure to have really crushed someone if someone was asleep at the controls. Or picking their nose, or picking someone else's nose?
Really scary stuff!