View Full Version : Haunt construction givens

09-21-2009, 07:38 AM
I noticed recently while setting up the haunt that there are some axioms or ‘givens’ during haunted house construction and set up.
1) No matter what tool you discover you need to complete a project it is always on the other side of the haunted house.
2) Your staple gun runs out of staples one short of what you need.
3) No matter how many pairs of scissors you have none of them are sharp enough to cut what you need to cut.
4) You are sure you can hear an air leak even when none exists.

Does anyone have any more to add to this list?

Jim Warfield
09-21-2009, 07:46 AM
That needed tool used to be able to successfully hide inside your house and out-buildings, now it does even better hiding that you have a building 5 blocks away!
I know, just have duplicate tools, sure spend $5,000.00 to do that!
Another "Given" once you open the doors each day will be a new adventure dictated by the destruction on the property handed out by some customers from the night before.

09-21-2009, 08:09 AM
And there is the classic getting to the other side of the haunted house and forgetting what tool you are looking for. And once you get to the other side of the haunted house you discover the tool was in your back pocket. That is alway fun.

Haunts of Richmond
09-21-2009, 09:42 AM
You notice a correction that needs to be made... make your way to the other side of the haunt to find the tools necessary... notice yet another correction on the way to getting the tools needed to fix the first correction... go to find the tools necessary for that.... notice another correc.... well, you get the picture.

- Ryan

09-21-2009, 10:59 AM
"measure twice, cut once" turns into "measure twice, cut once, swear repeatedly".

If there's one lightbulb out, bring three bulbs. You'll need them, somehow, one way or another.

You can always find a piece of wood either half an inch too short, or three feet too long.

Cordless Screwdrivers ALWAYS die approximately 1/8 inch before sinking a screw, stripping the head.

Cheap 89 cent tape measures will withstand a sledgehammer. Your expensive tools you brought from home break when you sneeze too hard.

Those are just a few of ours.

Allen H
09-21-2009, 09:35 PM
Alot of the "help" you get, isint.
#2 screw tips must migrate and destroy themselves like lemmings.
A cordless screwgun will survive a torrential downpour and work just fine but "outdoor"flood light fixtures will not.

09-21-2009, 10:03 PM
pick up black spray paint and dry wall screws EVERY time you go to the store, whether they are on your list or not

09-22-2009, 03:14 AM
Even if you start building for next year on November 1 of this year, you will still open late the first night.

All available pieces of raw material (wood, metal, cloth or whatever) come in two sizes: too big or too small.

After spending a lot of time building something you will immediately see the completed item for sale for less than you spent. Either that or it will suddenly become obvious how you could have done it faster, easier and cheaper.

Does this story sound familiar to anyone - or everyone?

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Jim Warfield
09-22-2009, 07:11 AM
Get out of my head! Quit following me around!
I once had the luxury of beginning something, working on nothing but that for maybe three days and nights almost non-stop and get it done.
Life was simple then.
People ask me how I did all of this?
Just say "No!"
No TV.
No Movies.
(No phone at one time)
Keep "wasting" that time spent shaving and bathing though, your fungus-farm thrives on ignoring your basics.
Warning! Time goes by very fast when in this mode. If you have any small children or a significant other don't forget them or they will surely forget you...eventually.
Blink your eyes and five years have dissappeared.

09-22-2009, 09:19 AM
pick up black spray paint and dry wall screws every time you go to the store, whether they are on your list or not

lol! Aaaaamen!