Poo in Haunted Houses

[lurker]

To shit or not to shit that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The stench and odor of outrageous flatulence,
Or to take arms against a sea of turds


Cookie, you are not my customer, and I'm willing to wager your friends aren't my customers either. My real customers make their opinions known my returning year after year in larger numbers. So, they must like my poo.
When you own a haunt and run a haunt, give me a call and we will talk. Hell, I might even listen to your input if you had actually been through my attraction, but until either of those times come to pass I will have to take the opinion of an anonymous man with a grain of salt. And not just any grain of salt, but rather a grain of undigested salt that one may chance upon in a pile of poo at your local low class haunted attraction.

And this is my last shitty opinion on this here sea of turds. Thanks for helping feel like a 5th grader again.

[Cookie Crumbler]

Funny as your post was,

You’ve done your part to bring yourself back to fifth grade, man! Hahah. By defending the honor of poo, which no one forced you to do! Hahaha.

High-horse is not becoming, because the people in this industry who deserve to talk “shit” are rarely the ones that do!

Would you respect my opinion more if I owned a shit-hole haunt? Because I could go open one this year with some wood, screws, black paint, Jason Masks, chainsaw, a tray full of turds, and about $35k.

Literally anyone could do this at any time you realize!

If I couldn’t do first grade math, spoke like the baby from Full House, but owned a haunt, would you give my opinion more respect?

PWEEAAASE! Harhar.

Lurker, baby, I could easily be your next customer at any time. And there are others LIKE me and my friends who WILL be your customers in the future!!! You should want to put your best foot forward for them!!!

Great that you have customers who come back year after year! But I’ll bet it’s not the poo that brings them back. So why use it?

Is it that magical moment, a shared wink between a child and his grandfather?

And what about the ones who don’t come back, or never show up at all? Could you handle more customers? Yes. So why keep even one customer away with poo when you don’t have to? (And I believe it will be more than one customer.)

Unless you think poo is the reason they come back and support you… Unless you think it isn’t you the customers love, but the poo… In which case I see why you’d defend poo!!!

[Jim Warfield]

"A Tray Of Turds!"

WOW! I Never thought of that! (butt I flush mine one at a time, no wonder?)
What do at least the younger boys like and respond to?" Fart Jokes".
This information not only happens to be my feelings on the matter but was also reinforced by a psychologist who works just with disturbed children. It's a universal "Ice-Breaker" followed by laughter.
I feel most people come to see my house and take the tour because their friends told them about the fun they had here.
Is it "Fun" for most adults to get scared? No, not usually because being an adult is very heavy into predictable situations and Control.
Is an adult in control as they walk into a dark unknown situation having to trust strangers who will be trying to make them jump, scream or worse?
The thrill of the unknown does not appeal to most adults,"The test results will be back in a week to see how long you have left to live." Fun stuff, that unknown, huh?
There are many things that many haunts do on a common on-going basis that I will not do here because I do not want to offend the customer, (well, at least most of them) I cannot afford to send them away forever, just like everyone else here.
So the younger and teenage crowd must be our "Meat& Potatoes"?
Several eons ago I decided they were not mine and I took the personal risk to aim higher for at least the college aged crowd and it was a personally selfish reason on my part. I like them more, usually. Also they are not as likely to suddenly scream for absolutely no reason, piercing my eardrumms, causing pains in my ears that sometimes would not subside for the whole month of October!
I have told jokes in my tour that some people later told me they did not "get" until months later(when they were back home in Colorado) I love seeding the mind with time bombs and my tour is a sensory-mental over abundance for many(Maybe this is what they like?)
So in many ways I am aiming "Higher" possibly?
My one hallway is decorated with second-hand toilet seats. They have sayings and some pictures on them like "A Brown-out is not always electrical."
One has a cartoon carving of a dog wearing a dress and it says:"Mutt Carol" (I'm in Mount Carroll, Ill.) then there is our very own home-made toilet seat, "Order Yours Today!" and it is barely chiseled out of very rough wood, as crude as imaginable. ("OUCH!")
I don't use a real chainsaw or chase anyone . I don't have strobe lights. I don't have super loud sound defects, I'm trying to not deafen, sicken, offend or bore the patrons.
Maybe they feel this too?
I try to create some anticipation, maybe even fear, then it all usually ends with a startle and/or a laugh. Everybody survives.
Hopefully no new phobias, no angst to take home.
This house has been haunted for a long time and I tell it's haunted history but with attempted humor inserted for all the right reasons. Some people are already very afraid without my influence.