I figured out what was missing. Literally bolt the door. Whip out the air wrenches and it makes the sound of going through some torque sequence in addition to all the regular rattles and pinnings. Lovely assistants bring and take away the soccets and air wrench and various locks on silver platers. It's magic.
For occasional couch wetness, the noo noo from the teletubbies comes out and searches for things to clean up. Only it is scarier looking.
Another fabulous post from the U.S.Department of Wild Imaginings, now in spectaclar stereo, sponsored by the Adhesives and Sealants Council, suggesting ways to stick things together since the 1800s. Not fabulous in a gay way. Your results may vary. Illinois residents add 8% sales tax. These posts have been made by professional post makers, do not try this type of posting on your own without extensive training, lovely assistants and a trusty clown horn.