Let the Funny Stories Commence

[Rachel]

Ok, most of us have at least a weekend under their belt - what's happened so far that's just about made you break character and start laughing?

Kids are always great for a laugh....the first night we had an entire group of adults all carrying a small child (we don't recommend the haunt for those under 10 but I digress....). Since the entire crowd I had let in were children I toned down the intro and proceeded to go up to the kids and give my "Scooby Doo" speech (Which essentially likens the haunted house to scooby doo - creepy and spooky but fun and make believe)

"Do you like Scooby Doo?" I asked

One small kid: "Do you mean Scooby Doo the Movie Part Two: Monsters Unleashed on DVD!?"

Uh sure....

Another small kid was in the arms of his dad while his sister was in a fricken STROLLER! I had a large crowd I had just let in the front room - I asked the parents to step off to the side so I could do the full fledged intro for the adults and then talk to the kid before I let them in. I was in the middle of my "Don't Touch Us and We Don't Touch You" speech to the entire crowd when the small kid interupts: "HEY! What's YOUR name?" I turn around and say "My name? What's YOUR name?" and the kid proclaims excitedly "I'm Superman!"

Another actor said that as the same child approached her scene she said "I see you've made it this far alive" and the kid turns to her "yep! Sure did!" (Keep in mind he was not being a smart a$$ he genuinely meant all he said- which is why it was so funny).

We had a woman come in who was a little on edge by the whole idea of a haunted house. She kept hiding in her friend's shirt and squealing. The guys working the que line said she would snort if scared enough. I wanted to hear for myself so I was standing over her and saying mean things while the que line guys stood on the other side of her - sure enough - she squealed and then snorted about 4 times - it was a riot - and I think we caught it on video.

So what's been happening at your haunts?

[Jim Warfield]

A very attractive woman laughed in the first room and then began an uncontrollable snorting/laugh, which got everyone else laughing.
When she calmed down I said to her, "You are very lucky that you don't look like you sound!"
One time two young women who obviously could not be sisters (but they were roomates) laughed the same strange way, by inhaling alot of air, making almost no sound, then sort of quietly gasping for a laugh.
One of them HAD to have been copying the other since these two were the only people I have ever seen who "laughed" like this!
All laughter is great and wonderous, don't get me wrong, the world could use alot more laughter of any style.
Making people laugh, then scream, then laugh again, then scream is quite a power trip, makes one feel like a grand master puppeteer!

[Rachel]

I have heard people laugh by inhaling air and then quietly gasping - but mainly in younger people....and you're right I'd much rather people scream then laugh. I accidentally made someone cry. Normally, if someone proclaims they "aren't scared" I stand in front of them and call their bluff "I see we have a volunteer to go first." Or "I see someone would rather go in alone." So far, I've always called their bluff - the people who "aren't scared" usually announce that because they are the biggest chicken Sh*T in the group. None of these people have gone in first or alone and it usually gets a laugh from the audience, and usually the "not scared" one will even laugh. With one exception....

During the "pre show" before I let groups into the haunt we have a seance scene and a pneumatic "boo scare". Well, this happened, a few people jumped back, but all was quiet and the lights hadn't come back on yet....the kid yells "That was the worst thing I ever saw" (I found it funny considering his timing) but keeping in character I was in his face by the time the lights came back on. I said the usual "I see we have a volunteer to go first" and instead of him laughing or lipping off at me he closed his eyes and sobbed! So much for not scared....oops! I really didn't mean to make him cry....

[steve]

I open next weekend, but I guest acted one night... made a girl cry by humming misc. tunes..... and I quote between the sobs.... "HE KEEPS SINGING RANDOM SH*T!"

-I dont know why she was frightened by this... I was originally humming because I has a rob zombie song stuck in my head.... curious thing the mind is....

[Jim Warfield]

Steve, That girl obviously has a problem with people not finishing things that they start.
She will be a real pain in the arse to some unlucky students of hers someday. (How did I know she will become a teacher?)
hahahahaha!
One time as I was talking in the first room a young woman standing in front of me slowly turned her head to see who might be sneaking up behind her(or something?) I was talking this whole time and one of my hands was in mid-gesture in the air as she turned back to face me, she let out a big scream! Maybe she thought I was about to land a slap or punch on her face? I have this on tape, it's funny.
Then a few seconds later I really tried to scare her, she screamed bloody-murder, ran to the back of the room yelling to her friends, "YOU LIED TO ME!!!" "?"

[actiondeath]

We had a false fire alarm Saturday night. Fog machines set it off. I am a zone leader so I carry a radio with me. One of my scenes, the asylum, is set up like a long hallway with "cells" on either side. My walkie-talkie was wedged sideways in the pocket of my lab coat so I couldn't get it out quickly to find out if the alarm was real or not. Customers were coming, so I dashed into one of the cells to struggle with the radio and as I'm fighting, in a slight panic, to get the damn thing out of my pocket, the customers are getting closer and closer. I finally just grab the bottom of the lab coat and pull the whole thing up to my ear... I turned around and realize that a group of about 7 or 8 were standing in the cell just looking at me. Trying to stay in character, I tell them that they've entered a room they shouldn't have. "most who get into these cells, don't leave the same" or something along those lines, shaking my pill bottle of tic-tacs... ALL of my actors just STOOD THERE laughing at me.

Of course, this prompted a much needed discussion regarding the effect of fog machines on smoke alarms, and what to do when my radio gets stuck in my pocket. I felt like such a jackass.

[Jim Warfield]

..Butt think how bad you would have felt if the radio was found stuck somwhere else?
..harder to get to, much harder to explain..
..so why are they called "Lab Coats" when they aren't black?

[ScarlettP]

Not a funny customer story, just a Stupid thing I said....

We got two new recruits stopping by the build the other night, a mother and daughter team. I had my hands full shaping some styrofoam 'rocks' for a wall as they came in to talk and look around. The guys were pointing out all the stuff in the yard that we were working on and explaining that a lot of the 'goodies' had already been taken over to the theatre. Remembering that 'Dr. John' still had his new autopsy body on the big table in the house, I looked up and brightly said "John! Take them inside and show them your body."

John, without missing a beat, said "Why, Ms. Scarlett! I don't believe we know each other that well."

It actually took me a moment to realize what I had said.

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BTW - the new Mom & Daughter are a GREAT find! The daughter is a pretty little 16 year old aspiring actress with a delightful personality and the Mom plays Nose Guard for the local female full contact football team. I think we're going to make her security.

http://www.chattanoogalocomotion.com...ndLJackson.htm

*giggle* I just looked up the Locomotion team and found her profile. It actually lists her 'real' job as Massage Therapist & Chiropractic Assistant - I think I would be scared to death if this woman came in to 'adjust' my back!