Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Top Stupidest things said in a hauned house

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Top Stupidest things said in a hauned house

    Alright, last year we collected all our funny stupid questions, along with some "Snappy Answers", and published them in HauntWorld Magazine.

    This year will be no different. Be sure and leave them here or e-mail them to me. I love to hear them and others will too. We will collate them into an article for HW.

    OK?

    KroneDaddy
    kronehouse@aol.com
    Hauntus Emeritus
    Founding Board Member I.A.H.A.
    Author "The Complete Haunted House Book"

    We'll make your house everything you've ever HAUNTED!

  • #2
    Just this afternoon a customer, a man 40? who seemed of at least average intelligence asked me if I built the wine cellar!?
    This is a room 31 by 16 feet wide, solid rock floor, 12 ft. high stone arch ceiling, UNDER the house. lower than the basement.
    "I sure did! It was the toughest two weeks of my life!"

    In another catagory of "stupid things" could be just plain old lies.
    I have been told that certain people who I barely know have told their friends that they used to help me built things in this house!?
    They must have snuck in when I was asleep between the hours of 2am and 6 and have super-stealth tools?
    In the 20 years that I have owned this house I can make a very short list of the few hours that anyone other than myself ever did any kind of work here...can you tell it miffed me to hear this sort of thing?
    ("If it would have "Muffed" me it would have been alright)
    hauntedravensgrin.com

    Comment


    • #3
      #1. Is it Scary
      #2. If I get to Scared and come out do I get my money back.

      We had 2 pass out Fri night, 18 that had to be brought out and 12 that bought tickets and never entered the door Sat night, of course with signs posted all over the ticket booth that states NO REFUNDS everyone who backed out asked the same question" Can I Get My Money Back" Sunday we posted this sign...


      Question-I started to hyperventilate and didn't make it all the way through. (Or) The characters came outside and scared me so bad I didn’t even try to go inside,
      Do I get my money back?
      Let me get this straight. (1) You paid us money to scare you. (2) You got scared. (3) You got even more scared. (4) You got so scared that we had to stop the show to escort you out. (or) I got so scared outside I didn’t even try to go inside. No! you don't get your money back! In fact we think you owe us more money.
      http://www.hustonville.com

      Comment


      • #4
        People are the strangest creatures

        I went into a car dealership the other day and purchased a Geo Prism, when I went to pick it up they tried to give me a Corevette instead! The nerve!

        I politely asked them to give me my money back so I could go to a dealership that supplies the bare minumum.

        How silly!

        I'm now the proud owner of a Geo Prism (I only wish I would have gotten the ash tray upgrade!)

        Rats -
        Steve Martini
        Screamline Studios
        www.screamlinestudios.com
        steve@screamlinestudios.com

        Comment


        • #5
          But the Geo Prism has features a Corvette will never see, like the flat grey paint job, the guard towers and the razor wire! (And time off for good behavior!)
          Strange noises coming from the muffler! Someone is trying to tunnel out through the exhaust pipe!
          hauntedravensgrin.com

          Comment


          • #6
            I had a little boy last year (Halloween is just getting started here in the UK) ask me "Why do you scare people that just seems mean?".

            I also had "Do you like Halloween?" - No I hate it would you want to do this to your house?
            Do you need a liscence to have real skulls? (ours are fake of course)
            Do you practice Satanism all year round or just at Halloween? (we don't have any satanic scenes in our haunt as yet)

            Comment


            • #7
              People's mouths and malfunctioning imaginations will do you much worse in the years to come, believe me.
              There was an old adage that usually 60% of the gossip you hear is correct but if you are a haunted house person/owner/operator you have opened yourself up for all kinds of wild slanderous stories.
              I can't say which story amused me more, the one about satanic services being held here all the time("But I was open anytime anyone showed up back then! Where did I hide all the worshippers and paraphenalia, regalia?)
              Or the story that every November I sail off to Cancoon and spend my massive bank account!!?
              I have never (physically) been out of the USA in my life.
              I seem to have no trouble spending my "massive bank account" just trying to get through the lean winter months til May when business picks up again, unless the weather happens to be real nasty or gas is $5.00, or the state of Illinois decided to rip apart some highway coming into this town or rip out another bridge here.
              Those tabloid pictures of me on the southern beaches with movie starletts were faked............by me, who else? hahahaha!
              hauntedravensgrin.com

              Comment


              • #8
                I went to Halloween Horror Nights last Saturday and was go through one of the mazes, I turned around and said to my brothers wife "Where are all the scareactors?" only to turn back around and have two of them right up on me with power tools. Yes, I did jump.lol.
                Giving People The Chills Since 2005

                http://www.warehouse31.com

                Comment


                • #9
                  Gee

                  How about a phone call we got yesterday?

                  I plan on coming to your haunted house on October 28th.....DO YOU THINK THE WAIT WILL BE LONG AT 9PM??
                  Gee could it get any better than this?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Question: How long does it take to go through?

                    Answer: That depends on how long you cower in the corner or how fast you run through screaming. :twisted:

                    Kel
                    Chris Riehl
                    Sales@spookyfinder.com
                    (586)209-6935
                    www.spookyfinder.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Gee

                      Originally posted by Ken Spriggs
                      How about a phone call we got yesterday?

                      I plan on coming to your haunted house on October 28th.....DO YOU THINK THE WAIT WILL BE LONG AT 9PM??
                      Well, let me check my appointment book.......it appears we don't have a reservation at 9:00, our 8:45 should be done peeing themselves by then so you should have no problem.
                      Brian Warner
                      Owner of Evilusions www.EVILUSIONS.com
                      Technical Director of Forsaken Haunted House www.Forsakenhaunt.com
                      Mechanical Designer (animatronics) at Gore Galore www.Gore-Galore.com

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Gee

                        Just damn, to funny.
                        Originally posted by gadget-evilusions
                        Originally posted by Ken Spriggs
                        How about a phone call we got yesterday?

                        I plan on coming to your haunted house on October 28th.....DO YOU THINK THE WAIT WILL BE LONG AT 9PM??
                        Well, let me check my appointment book.......it appears we don't have a reservation at 9:00, our 8:45 should be done peeing themselves by then so you should have no problem.
                        Giving People The Chills Since 2005

                        http://www.warehouse31.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Here is another

                          Is this a good haunted house?
                          Gee like I am going to say NO????
                          We have been voted in the top 3 haunts in illinois for 7 years??

                          No lady save your money we suck...but we ARE good at it!!
                          Gee could it get any better than this?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I get:"Is it worth the drive? Is it worth the money?"
                            Here was Jim's most recent response to this inane question:
                            I live in a county of only 15,000 retired farmers, most of my customers have to drive some distance to get here whether it is 30, 60 or 120 miles, I have been doing this for almost 20 years, full time, open almost every night of the entire year, this is all I do .'
                            If they can't figure it out after I have said all of this, they never will.
                            And guess what? Trying to entertain really stupid people with no clue and no sense of humor is no fun.
                            I like fun too! (Maybe you should stay home? Whata concept! Sorry, the party starts without you! hahahaha!)
                            (It can drive some people crazy when you play hard to get!)
                            Isn't life interesting?
                            hauntedravensgrin.com

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              (overheard after a patron had an 'accident')

                              question "Do you have a bathroom?"

                              answer: "From the smell of things you're wearing it".
                              Virgil: Master Of The Ethermuse

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X