snappy comebacks

[Ambergris]

I'm loving some of these comebacks. I'm a guide at one of the haunts I work for, and a queue line entertainer at the other. I'm usually pretty quick with the snarky comebacks, but I have to share a story about someone who actually caught me flat-footed. I was done up as my witch character. (We were in Salem, naturally.) The costume involved a lot of cleavage, and I had a little rubber snake nestled down between the gals as an accent. One guy asked me, "What's that snake doing in there." I said, "He's keeping warm." Without missing a beat, he answered, "I'm feeling a bit chilly myself."

I mean, okay. He won that one.

On the topic of disruptive drunks... I actually have a different tactic for dealing with drunks, especially when I'm guiding. Everyone says that you should ignore them, but I find that as long as they're ignored, they keep trying to get attention and that disrupts the tour for everyone. I've learned to give them JUST enough attention so that they are happy, without neglecting the rest of my group. I like to give them a name like Idiot or Beanhead, and call them by it over the course of the tour. I don't really threaten them. That makes them defensive. Instead, I'll give them some kind of instruction and then say, "Do you think you can handle that, Beanhead?" Little digs at them every few minutes accomplish two things.

One, it gives the person who's looking for attention exactly what they're looking for. It isn't really positive--I'm making them the whipping boy for the group. But, they're getting attention, and usually they just smile stupidly and play along, instead of disrupting my tour.

Two, it enables the rest of the group to have fun too. You can see the looks on their faces when they come in, especially if they got grouped with the guy at random. They came to enjoy the tour, and they clearly think this guy is going to ruin it for them. If I can make fun of him, keeping him under control AND giving the group the opportunity to laugh at him, everyone has a lot more fun.

Needless to say this is only one method. In general my characters aren't as serious as most, and it gives me the opportunity to defuse the situation with a bit of humor. It's easier for me to be obnoxious without breaking character.

[Jim Warfield]

I sort of tried that but many times it could not work. Maybe because booze is priced way too cheaply out here and 5 taverns are within 100 feet of my house?
I would twist what a slobbering drunk would say, spit it back at him and make him sound stupid but if they are beyond caring if they look stupid? Then it doesn't work.
Much of what I am telling my customers requires them to not become too distracted because much of it is "Story" in nature.
Maybe it compares to trying to read a book and someone keeps interupting you with totally unnecesarry distractions?
So much of haunted entertainment are already distractions so it won't usually work for me here to keep drunkies in the group if they are beyond comprehending basic instructions and courtesy.
When I first opened I was very much in need of any customer with a dollar in their hand and I found out WAY back then, babysitting drunks is no fun, counter-productive, the next day, after a long night of that I was about shot for doing much else besides sleeping til noon. (Not good, too much to do!)

[Ambergris]

True. Once they're that far gone, not much is going to work. Mine is usually a good method for the ones that are at that stupid stage where they think they're being really funny. When we get a total slobbering drunk, about the only thing we can do is have a security guy go on the tour with us. It's sub-optimal for the rest of the group, but what are you gonna do?

One of the haunts I work for simply turns the really drunk ones away if they see them on the way in. Not the best way to make money, but overall it's probably worth it.

From what I've seen, about nine out of ten bad drunks can be corralled, and then you just get the impossible one. There's always going to be one...

[Jim Warfield]

Tours? When I have angry customers demanding a re-tour because I didn't eject a distracting drunk from their group, I have just "bought" myself into some real amount of work since the tour here is usually 90 minutes long.
I could understand allowing them to remain if it was just a 10 to 12 minute experience to do-over.(Or if I only had to do-over a mere 10 to 12 minutes.)
I am always very pleased when a drunk is reprimanded by his own people because they don't want his blubbering either.
They must be real "fans"!

[OdetteDespairr]

For some reason (dont ask me why) i get alot of idiots that come through and try to hit on me i'll walk thru a piece of the Q line and suddenly hear "Oh whats up baby can i get ur number" or "check out the hot dead girl, what up baby." Something retarded like that, its really funny then to turn around and look at them, and just smile and say "Sorry sweetheart you're not my type" in a way that you can tell im completely making fun of them or since my character rarely talks as it is, i'll move closer and close and pretend to sniff them and after a few seconds make a grimmace on my face liek they smell really bad. Its funny cause usually the people they're with make fun of them for "the dead girls not even intrested in u dawg!" or something like that, its a great way to use their friends against them.

Odette